How to talk to your doctor about chronic pain
Living with chronic pain can be isolating and frustrating. You may feel like no one truly understands what you are ...
Living with chronic pain can be isolating and frustrating.
You may feel like no one truly understands what you are going through, including your doctor.
Yet clear and empathetic communication with your healthcare provider is one of the most important steps you can take in managing your pain. When you learn how to talk to your doctor effectively, you open the door to better treatment, greater understanding, and more control over your health.
Explore how to approach conversations with your doctor about chronic pain, guided by research and the perspectives of Dr. John Sarno.
Learn how patient–physician communication shapes your uncertainty, why empathy matters, and what best practices can make your appointments more productive.
How communication influences your uncertainty about pain
When you are living with chronic pain, uncertainty is often one of the hardest parts.
You may wonder what is causing the pain, how long it will last, or whether it will ever improve. A study published in the Journal of Health Communication in 2024 investigated how communication between patients with chronic pain and their physicians influenced this uncertainty.
The study found that effective communication before and after consultations can reduce the uncertainty you feel about your condition. Patients who felt their doctor explained things clearly, listened carefully, and provided reassurance reported less anxiety and more confidence in managing their pain.
In contrast, when communication was rushed or vague, patients left the consultation with more doubts and worries.
This research highlights the importance of preparing questions before your appointment and asking your doctor to clarify anything you do not understand. It also suggests that your voice matters.
When you describe your pain honestly and in detail, your doctor has more information to work with.
The clearer the exchange, the less uncertainty you carry with you after the visit.
Why empathy strengthens your relationship with your doctor
Empathy is a powerful tool in healthcare. A 2024 study published in the Journal of Osteopathic Medicine explored communication and empathy within the patient–physician relationship for patients with and without chronic pain.
The findings showed that patients with chronic pain particularly value physicians who demonstrate empathy. When you feel understood, you are more likely to trust your doctor, follow treatment recommendations, and experience better outcomes.
The study also found that empathy goes both ways. When doctors acknowledge your suffering and validate your experience, it helps you feel less dismissed and more engaged in your care.
For patients with chronic pain, who often encounter scepticism or stigma, this validation can be transformative.
You can encourage empathy by sharing not only the physical aspects of your pain but also how it affects your daily life, mood, and relationships.
This humanises your experience and invites your doctor to connect with you on a deeper level. Empathy is not about pity but about partnership.
The stronger the partnership, the more empowered you become.
What best practices can improve your consultations
A comprehensive review published in The Lancet in 2021 examined the global burden of chronic pain, along with best practices and new advances in its management.
The review highlighted that chronic pain is not just a symptom but a complex condition requiring a multidisciplinary approach. Communication plays a central role in this process.
One best practice is setting shared goals. Instead of focusing solely on pain elimination, which may not always be possible, you and your doctor can work together to set goals around improving your function, mobility, or quality of life. This shifts the focus from what you cannot do to what you can achieve.
Another practice is recognising that pain is influenced by both biological and psychological factors. When you and your doctor discuss stress, sleep, and emotional health alongside physical treatments, you create a more complete picture of your pain.
This integrative approach is supported by modern pain science and helps you feel more in control.
Dr. John Sarno’s perspective adds an important layer here. He argued that many cases of chronic back pain and other conditions are driven by unconscious emotional factors rather than structural damage.
Dr. Sarno encouraged patients to talk openly about stress, anger, or repressed emotions with their doctors, even if those emotions seemed unrelated to their pain.
By doing so, you may uncover hidden contributors to your symptoms and find new pathways to relief.
How to prepare for your appointment
Walking into your doctor’s office prepared can make a significant difference.
Write down your symptoms, noting when they started, what makes them better or worse, and how they affect your daily life.
Bring a list of questions, such as:
- What do you think is causing my pain?
- What are the possible treatment options?
- What should I focus on in the short term?
It can also help to be honest about your concerns and fears. If you are worried about medication side effects, long-term prognosis, or whether your pain will affect your ability to work, say so.
Open conversations give your doctor the chance to address those fears directly. If you feel rushed, ask for a follow-up appointment or request written information to take home.
Dr. Sarno often advised patients to challenge the idea that their bodies were permanently damaged. You can raise this perspective with your doctor by asking how much of your pain might be influenced by stress or emotional tension.
Even if your doctor does not fully agree with Sarno’s theories, the question opens a dialogue about the mind–body connection and broadens your treatment options.
Conclusion
Talking to your doctor about chronic pain can feel intimidating, but it is one of the most powerful steps you can take toward recovery.
Research shows that clear communication reduces uncertainty, empathy strengthens your relationship, and best practices guide you toward realistic and meaningful goals.
Dr. John Sarno’s insights remind you that your emotions matter too. Bringing them into the conversation can uncover hidden dimensions of your pain.
When you approach your doctor prepared, open, and willing to engage, you transform the consultation into a true partnership.
Instead of leaving with unanswered questions and lingering doubts, you can walk away with clarity, confidence, and a sense of direction. The way you talk about your pain matters as much as the pain itself.
Learning how to communicate effectively may be the first step in changing your journey.
References
Cohen, S.P., Vase, L., Hooten, W.M. (2021) Chronic pain: an update on burden, best practices, and new advances. The Lancet
Thompson, C.M., Pulido, M.D., Gangidi, S., Arnold, P. (2024) How chronic pain patients’ and physicians’ communication influences patients’ uncertainty: A pre- and post-consultation study. Journal of Health Communication
Licciardone, J.C., Middleton, C.N., Aboutaj, A., Allouche, T., Siddiqui, I. (2024) Communication and empathy within the patient-physician relationship among patients with and without chronic pain. Journal of Osteopathic Medicine
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